Pragmatism and Sexual Attraction Development

Three square, orange cartoon faces, one that is smiling, one with an open "horror" mouth, and one with a wrinkled dubious mouth saying "prag-mat-ism"

What is Pragmatism?

Pragmatism is an educational philosophy which seeks to determine “truth” through experimentation and experience. Charles Sanders Peirce  conceptualized the philosophy in the late 19th century. The viewpoint functions under the guise that phenomena must be experienced in order to be learned. The universe is constantly evolving and the most efficacious method to learning was through trial & error and problem solving. John Dewey employed pragmatist theory to his teachings and related them to an increased importance to the environment. According to Dewey, learning is dependent on the context of the time, place and circumstance.

Sexual Attraction Development

Sexual attraction development refers to the unofficial science of creating the most sexually attractive version of one’s self. Popularized within the online “pick-up” or male seduction community, the focus is predicated on the cultivation of positive communication skills, active listening and dynamic demonstration of high social value. Though the framing of information can be less hetero-male focused, the underlying principles are universally experienced and appreciated. For example, people demonstrating inviting posture and body language (open, non-threatening, smiling, etc.) tend to be easier to approach and engage in conversation.

 Why pragmatism is good for attraction development

Within the dealings of teaching attraction development skills, an emphasis on experiences through trial is most effective. It is widely accepted within the online “pickup” and male seduction community that the core objectives are developing skills of communication and establishing social value, not everyone can approach this the same way. Individuals develop from their own unique experiences and assets. Instructors of these skills simply act as guides to help people find their sexist self. In efforts to branch these techniques outside of the “pick-up” community, the primary pragmatic focus should remain intact.

Placing the emphasis of learning on the individual experiences of the learner is still an important factor to developing these particular skills. A person does not learn to become social by studying it from a book; they would have to get into the world and meet/ talk to people. Teamed with the skills learned from sexual attraction development work, they may even land a few dates in the process.

Additional Information about sexual attraction development:

·         How to develop sexual and romantic attraction to people who are good for you

·         Rethinking puberty: The development of sexual attraction

·         The laws of sexual attraction


Foundations of Pragmatism:




Attraction Development:




6 responses to “Pragmatism and Sexual Attraction Development

  1. I know that sometimes the “pickup” culture is a bit controversial, but I like the idea of a pragmatic approach to this. I find that what people know of “pickup” culture is through movies like Hitch or from blog entries about picking up women using techniques that at best would be described as deception. I am not opposed to teaching people how to interact with others, teaching them how to put their best foot forward and doing that by applying knowledge through pragmatic teaching.

  2. Agreed with what Hillary said. I also think that taking this route best determines methods that work well for that particular individual, whereas articles and the like tend to apply a “one size fits all” type of method.

  3. Pingback: Experimentalism | Teaching Sex Ed·

  4. I agree with Alicia. This approach definitely works for a specific type of individual, and it should involve an assessment. In theory pragmatism should work for everyone, however, since it determines “truth” based on experience, I can easily see how many truths can come up for different people, especially when it comes to sexual attraction.

  5. I’m going to pick up from Tiffanie’s comment about “truth.” There is certainly going to be many truths and mot just one truth based on the lens through which one views life and also based on individual personality.

    I really appreciate though that this approach allows for a programme to be bespoke and thus acknowledges that there is no exact formula that works the same way for everyone.

  6. The sexual attraction development reminds me immediately of what we learned in bio and how we can make ourselves more appealing when we are self-selecting a mate as we are ultimately “creating the most sexually attractive version of one’s self”. The theory of Pragmatism and how it can be applied to sexual attraction development is evidenced in the first article that you referenced and is really individually focused. The individual needs to experience the phenomena in order for them to comprehend the learned information. I found the concept very interesting and like OHenry, agree that there is no one formula that fits everyone’s needs.

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